Life Piles On....

To say there have been some significant hiccups in my life over the last several days would be considered an understatement.  I have never felt so devastated and helpless and alone as I have since last Wednesday.  I really have had a fairly level playing field in my life since my husband passed away.  There were emotional ups and downs, but overall things have been fairly good.  That ended on Wednesday.

I had scheduled the van for it's first inspection since I bought it.  I figured that it would not og without some additional work.  My guess had been brakes, which was the only thing that I had not looked at when I bought it.  I was right, but in addition to brakes on all four wheels, they suggested that I also buy new rotors.  Not knowing how the previous owners had used the van, I decided that for a bit less than $400.00, it was a good investment to make sure I could stop when I press the pedal.  One Hiccup.

Thursday morning, I was on the phone with my brother catching up on the goings on in his life and bringing him up-to-date on my life.  During that call he heard his cell phone ringing in the basement.  As we continued our conversation he walked to the basement to check his cell.  He picked it up and commented that it had been a call from his wife's boss at work.  Carol works in the school system and this year is an aide for a special needs student.  Unlike the lovely boy she had last year, this year her student tends to run away, kick, it and is much more difficult to deal with.  He listened to the voice mail, he found out that he was being summoned to the school to pick up his wife and take her to the hospital.  So our conversation ended and he departed to see what was going on.  Two Hiccup!

While waiting to find out what had happened and how she was, I received an email from my son Rob, who lives in Alaska.  He was taking her to the hospital that day for a procedure to take a biopsy of a lymph node that was significantly enlarged.  The exact description is three very long and difficult to spell, much less pronounce.  The internet describes the enlargement of this node as an indicator of lung cancer.  Rob & Kate were in good spirits but concerned.  Three Hiccup!

I had a dinner with some of the ladies that I had bonded with through GriefShare.  I was gone only a couple of hours, but when I got back I found that Molly had peed all over the back of the couch.  She had been drinking water like crazy as well as eating me out of house and home.  I scrubbed the couch and washed the rubber sheet and regular sheet that I had on it to protect the cushions, I never imagined that she would pee on the top of the couch.  I knew then that we were about to make another trip to the vet.

I made the appointment for the next day and Dr, Frame discussed Molly's un-diagnosed Cushings Disease.  We decided to run some bloodwork to rule out any other possible issues before moving on.  She would call me on Saturday morning.  Hiccup #4.

I spoke to Rob and the biopsy had been successful in getting what they needed.  They had been able to get to the node with going through any other vital organs.  They had done a couple of needle biopsies and checked them somewhat before taking, what Rob described as a core.  Evidently the needles showed something that required more detailed analysis.  Not the best news, but they are still waiting to hear the results.  Hiccup #5.

Saturday morning, just before noon, Dr. Frame called.  The bloodwork showed nothing that did not point to Cushings Disease.  We discussed the possibility of medication.  The prescription for the disease would cost $85 from the vet.  I could find it online for about half that.  BUT, we would have to have blood tests once a month for the first several months and then every so often during the year and anytime a dosage change was made.  The hospital stay for the test and cost of all of the other tests would be close to $350.00 each time.  Needless to say, I could not afford to do that.  Just not in the budget of a retired person.  So, the decision was made that it would be prudent to put Molly to sleep.  The blood test that had been run already showing that some of her systems were becoming compromised.  For all of the water she was drinking, the test had showed her to be dehydrated.  So it was time.  Hiccup #6.

Sooooooooo, after a weekend of saying Goodbye, I took her back to the vet this morning.  She received the injection and with less than a minute, she relaxed and passed away quietly with no more suffering.  Hiccup #7.

So, I am once again in mourning.  This time it is my little companion who gave me a reason to get up everyday and kept me focused on life after Rudy died.  I am not sure I would be doing so well if it were not for her.  I am going to be missing her so much!  At the same time, when I have my knee replacement in December, should I need to go to rehab, I will not have to find someone to take care of her while I am gone.  Still, it will be a very quiet and lonely house.

In Loving Memory!!!!!