Getting Older and Losses

From the moment we are born, we begin aging.  Each day, hour and minute that we breathe, we are aging.  In our early years, we actually are excited about getting to a new age.  We want to ride a bicycle by ourselves, become a Brownie, go on a field trip, belong to a club, drive a car..... etc., etc.

What amazes me (or amuses me), is that as I grow older, I keep pushing the age that I consider to be 'old' farther and farther out.  I remember thinking that my parents were old when I was in elementary school.  I remember thinking that my 1st grade teacher (1953-54) was ancient.  Back in the early 90's, my mother ran into my 1st grade teacher's sister and she and her sister we alive and doing well (I would have sworn she would have been long dead).  I remember thinking that when you retired, you were old.  I remember thinking that after 70, you were on your last legs.

I am fast approaching my 69th birthday.  Funny, I cannot believe that I could be that old.  I do not feel (except once in a while) at all old.  A little slower, perhaps, with a few more aches and pains resulting from abuse of food, activity or lack thereof.  But overall, I am feeling pretty good for being so close to 70!

My husband passed away five years ago and it has been a struggle to keep moving and doing new things.  The first year I kept trying to do the things that 'we' had done together.  I found that the 'we' things were no longer as much fun as they had once been.  So I began the journey of finding my "new normal" as we were taught in GriefShare.  But taking those steps and experiencing different things have solidified, for now, the things I want to do and the things I do not want to do.

Today, I learned that a member of my Senior class in High School passed away suddenly yesterday.  There have been many members of my class who have already passed away.  When I went to my 50th Reunion last summer, there was quite the list of classmates that had died and since the Reunion, there have been a few more.  And there are also many who have suffered cancers and strokes and heart attacks and are suffering the effects of those illnesses.

Mark and I had kept in touch, somewhat, after graduation.  He was in interesting man.  He was highly intelligent.  But he was a gentleman, kind and thoughtful.  He had suffered through his first wife's addictions and death while recently finding a new love and marrying.  And today they are grieving his loss and the entire class is stunned because none of us expected Mark to die so young.  See, he is the same age as I am, but in my eyes, he died young.

Age is a state of mind, more than a state of body.  As long as things keep moving along nicely, then we can continue to move the age of being 'old' out to the next landmark.  But as we move forward to the next year and the next, when someone we know or grew up with or loved, dies, it only serves to remind us of the journey that we are all on!

We also are reminded of how quickly our lives can change or end and how precious our time here, on this earth, actually is.  Don't waste it!!