Another Beginning....

Back again…..!  Life happens and sometimes it gets you off track from where you think it is going.  Such is what happened to me.

The last post here had my husband retiring.  We were beginning to enjoy the fruits of our labors by sleeping in and not hearing alarms.  It was short lived.

I woke up one morning in March 2010 to find Rudy sitting up in the living room, having trouble catching his breath.  Off to the ER and then home with a diagnosis of Pneumonia. But it did not respond to treatment, so more tests and by his 65^th birthday in May, he had been diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer. 

We spent the summer staying at our summer home in Maryland except for returning home from time to time for lawn mowing and chemotherapy.  Rudy was able to fish and crab and boat all summer, something he had worked so hard to be able to do.  The Chemo was not as debilitating as we had expected and kept the cancer at bay for the nice weather.  But as the season ended, the cancer became more aggressive and by February 2011, he was no longer able to fight it off and passed away… less than a year after he retired.

So here I am, alone.  It was rewarding to have the support of family and friends immediately after he died.  My son, Rob, was able to come home from Alaska and stay with me for about 5 weeks.  He got me through the really hard part, along with my BFF’s, Marji and Debby.  As usual after a death, I had all manner of people telling me that they would be there for me; all I had to do was let them know what I needed.  There were meals brought and phone calls made.  Then the meals stopped and the calls became fewer and fewer as the rest of the world moved on with life and I found myself struggling with an empty house (except for my dog, Molly) and lost dreams and trying to figure out what it was all about.

The Holidays were not as bad as I expected.  But after that, I found myself stuck in my grief and feeling like I was never going to be able to get out of it.  But, God found a way to show me the way…

I found a notice in the local Community newspaper for a group called GriefShare.  It was starting a 13 week session at the local Mennonite Church that very evening and I got up out of the recliner and went.  What a wonderful group.  They have videos by experts that tell you each week that we are perfectly normal and how to get unstuck and deal with our grief.  The group that I was a part of was kind and compassionate.  We bonded during the discussions, sharing our inner most pain and through that pain found solace and a pathway back to the joy that is living.

Midway through the GriefShare sessions I also found a new hobby.  A new quilt shop had opened in Christiana, just minutes from my house in Parkesburg.  The Quilt Ledger was offering a daytime class where we created a small Log Cabin Quilt.  It is something I had always wanted to do and Leslie, the owner and teacher, was delightful.  Her patience and willingness to let the slower learners come to the shop on days other than class, to get caught up or to sew under her tutelage allowed me to finish my first quilt.  I am now so totally hooked on quilting and crafting that I look for projects to do like table toppers, bags and other fun projects that I am sharing with others who are getting equally hooked.

I have done some travelling.  Thanksgiving 2011 found me driving to Minneapolis, MN so spend Thanksgiving with my youngest son, Brian.  I was able to meet him in Wisconsin where he was competing in a Fencing Tournament before we drove to his home.  I was there a little over a week before heading home, trying to keep ahead of snow storms all across the country.  I also used that time to spend some time with my cousin in her home in Lake Villa, IL and see her lake home.  It was quite the adventure.  Molly has learned to travel well and we have discovered that Red Roof Inns are very pet friendly, reasonably priced and very nice in general.

In April, I drove to Cape Coral, FL.  I had rented a house for a month and spent the time there visiting with a dear friend who spends her winters there as well as look around the area with the thought of possibly buying a home and doing the same.  Housing at that time was running between $80,000 and $100,000 for a nice, newer home.  I figured if I sold Indian Acres, I could perhaps afford to buy a house which would eventually be my full-time home.  But property here is moving very slowly and property there is moving very fast and going up in price.  I finally have a buyer here but they are still trying to get financing.  In the meantime I have decided to just stay put.  I have so many wonderful friends here and with two houses, I would not have extra money to do fun things.  Only having one home to deal with gives me the ability to do fun stuff.  And if I want to go to Florida, I can rent a place for a couple of weeks or months without the worries of a vacant home when I am here.  Perfect!!  And everyone is happy, except for Lorraine who was looking forward to having me there in the winter.

This summer, I have had wonderful weekends at Indian Acres where one of my BFF’s, Debby, has been spending almost every weekend with me.  She is one of the people we are bringing over to the dark side of sewing and quilting.  It has been wonderful, but I am hoping that the buyers are successful in their financing.  I am not looking forward to going through 20 years of crap that has accumulated, but I am looking forward to being here at home more.

I have my house here in better shape than it has been in years.  A couple of weeks ago I was left soapy in the shower when the well pump seized.  But a new one is in place and better than before.  Screen room is enclosed, so it will be warmer, central air installed, laundry installed on the main floor…. Life is good.

So, while days are much better, I am moving forward.  I miss Rudy everyday.  I wish he were still here to enjoy the fruits of his labor.  It is much better to share things with someone, especially when decisions have to be made, but I am doing OK.

Follow along as I live my new life, discover new things about myself and my friends and enjoy the world that I find myself living in.