Just one of the frustrations of being a woman... aging!!

 I am 73 1/2 years old.  I have led a wonderful, albeit mundane life.  I was a cute child who pulled over my Christmas tree just in time for a Christmas party that my parents were having when I was a toddler in Columbus, Ohio.  After moving to Ashland, Kentucky... I brought a kitten into the house that had "followed" me home, being held tightly in my arms.  I was a good student but never finished college when I married Bob Cermak, the father of my two sons.

I have done some fun things and some not so fun things.  I have some beautiful friends and my sons have both turned into wonderful men.  I am now a widow as my second husband died just about 10 years ago.  I recently moved from Southeastern Pennsylvania, where I had lived for 40 years, to Fairbanks, Alaska to be near my oldest son, Rob, and his wife, Kate.  My youngest son, Brian, had also offered to watch over his Mom, but he was not in a place in his life to make major changes when I felt the need to make the move.

I was just getting settled in my new home when COVID hit, so I have spent much time in my lovely new home all alone.  It has given me time to take a good look at myself and wonder how I managed to get here and be 73 1/2 years old.

I am not sure that I have come up with answers, but I have discovered that in order to get to this age, I had to have a bit of luck and a great deal of grit and courage.  Growing old is not for the faint of heart.

And it sneaks up on you slowly and almost without fanfare.  It seems that one day you are fine and then the next day your fingers get sore, then your back, then your knees, and then your hips.  You can no longer eat all of the foods that you could in your youth.  For me, cheese, all kinds that I adore, tend to clog up my digestive system.  Some things give me gas and others just no longer appeal to me.  

But recently, it has been my sleep patterns that have suffered.  I can no longer fall asleep quickly.  Once asleep, I cannot stay asleep.  I wake up at least once to pee and if I cut back on fluids in the evening, then I run into the digestive slowdowns that cheese creates... do darned if I do and darned if I don't.  I have a diffuser in my bedroom and I fill it with water every night and I add Lavender Oil that is supposed to help you relax and sleep.  Some nights it does, some nights not so much,  But if I do not turn it on, I will toss and turn much more.  It could be psychological, but it needs to be on every night,

I have tried having a TV on, gently in the background.  My go-to show had been on Netflix where I could tune into The West Wing.  It is a lovely show and one of my faves.  I have watched it and watched it and watched it so that I know what each episode is about as it comes on.  I can put it on and not be concerned with what is happening next as I already know, so I can fall asleep while it is on.  However, on December 24th Netflix is no longer carrying that series and it will soon be showing up on HBO/MAX.  I am not going to add another streaming service to the ones I already have so I am going to have to dig out my West Wing DVDs.

But then there are just nights, that no matter what one does, I am just not falling asleep.  I toss and turn.  I try everything I can think of, but sleep does not come.  So as I type this, I have had less than 3 hours of sleep.  I went to bed at 11:00 PM and the last time I looked at my clock it was 5:30 AM.  I did fall asleep sometime after that but woke up a little before 9:00 AM.  I got out of bed as I do not want to get my days and nights reversed.  It would be easy to do, here in Alaska, with the current time of 20ish hours of darkness.  So I just got up and started my day.

I will not take sleeping pills.  I have heard too many stories about people doing strange things while still sleeping.  And here in Fairbanks, if I were to wander outside in the winter, I could easily die... so no pills for me.  I do take Benedryl along with Melatonin at night.  Some nights it helps, some nights not!

But, I just keep plugging along.  I am not giving up on getting older.  I am a tough, old broad.  The aches keep coming, although the knees have been fixed so that particular pain is gone.  I take hemp oil to reduce the inflammation in my hip, and so far it works well.  And there are days when I just give my body a rest without the guilt of resting instead of doing activities during the day.

Each day is a gift.  And I am hoping that I inherited the longevity that is in my family.  I am weary of the loneliness of the COVID pandemic as I have not been able to meet many folks here in Fairbanks.  But hoping that in 2021, with the vaccines being approved, that we will be able to get out and about more this year than we did last year.

Now, to get dressed, do a little baking before my stove gets disconnected.  We are having two new appliances installed and a new kitchen floor put down this week coming up.  Stay tuned for pictures.

Here I am, still in my nightgown and robe, being goofy in front of the camera because I am just very tired.  It is 1:00 PM here.  I have not yet lost my sense of humor!!!